Illusions of Grandeur

townsvillain: pesterlogs: calm the F down f

Fri, 24 May 2013 17:55:54 -0400

pesterlogs:

calm the F down

f

haemus: skittlesndrpepper: craigmothertucker: so my 16 year old brother made himself a balloon...

Fri, 24 May 2013 17:55:38 -0400

skittlesndrpepper:

craigmothertucker:

so my 16 year old brother made himself a balloon son and kept a photo album of their day together here it is

Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you my boyfriend and his outstanding level of maturity.

I want to have a bf just like that

"Women are afraid of meeting a serial killer. Men are afraid of meeting someone fat."

Fri, 24 May 2013 17:32:48 -0400

“Women are afraid of meeting a serial killer. Men are afraid of meeting someone fat.”

-
When Strangers Click, a 2011 documentary about online dating.

It reminds me of that famous Margaret Atwood quote: “Men are afraid that women will laugh at them. Women are afraid that men will kill them.” It also reminds me of something written by one of the mods of Sex Worker Problems: “Misandry irritates. Misogyny kills.” (via tealeafprincess)

thecompanionsdoctor: Whenever my friend says goodnight to me on Skype he sends me this gif and I...

Fri, 24 May 2013 17:32:26 -0400

thecompanionsdoctor:

Whenever my friend says goodnight to me on Skype he sends me this gif

and I wanted to send it to him tonight so I went to Google “black man turning off lamp” but Google autofill changed it to “black man turning into jet” and I got this

Long story short it’s 1am and I’ve been laughing at this for approximately 20 years

ethanwearsprada: i think it’s a universal truth that everyone in our generation takes pluto’s...

Fri, 24 May 2013 17:32:06 -0400

ethanwearsprada:

i think it’s a universal truth that everyone in our generation takes pluto’s losing its planetary status as a personal offense

comeonkiddo: yes all my drawings of people are 100%...

Fri, 24 May 2013 17:27:32 -0400

comeonkiddo:

yes all my drawings of people are 100% anatomically correct

voldemortsblog: bloodandgutsinhighschool: cleargummibears: santahale: Robert Pattinson wins the...

Fri, 24 May 2013 17:21:08 -0400

voldemortsblog:

bloodandgutsinhighschool:

cleargummibears:

santahale:

Robert Pattinson wins the “Most Likely To Be A Douchebag But Turned Out To Be A Pretty Cool Guy” Award.

Cole Sprouse wins the “Seems To Be A Cool Guy But Turned Out To Be A Douchebag” Award

Chris Brown wins the “Most Likely To Be A Douchebag But Turned Out To Be An Even Bigger Douchebag” Award.

Leonardo DiCaprio Seems To Be A Cool Guy But Never Wins An Award

hey-sass-butt: littleoldcelticheart: screamsofashadow: That...

Fri, 24 May 2013 17:20:03 -0400

hey-sass-butt:

littleoldcelticheart:

screamsofashadow:

That moment when you realize that the Doctor quoted Toy Story.

holy shit

What about the Lion King?

Or Mary Poppins?

odolnost: if you locked your boyfriend and your dog in a trunk for a week and then opened it the...

Fri, 24 May 2013 17:16:35 -0400

odolnost:

if you locked your boyfriend and your dog in a trunk for a week and then opened it the boyfriend would probably be pissed but the dog would be happy to see you also known as reasons why dogs are better than boyfriends

theweepyfox: geometricdeathtrap: So I needed a way to alert the class that I was going to be...

Fri, 24 May 2013 07:09:06 -0400

theweepyfox:

geometricdeathtrap:

So I needed a way to alert the class that I was going to be showing graphic pictures of genitals on my presentation so I decided that putting this on the slide before would work

I want this on a shirt.

Photo

Fri, 24 May 2013 07:08:37 -0400

rneerkat: allmonds: rneerkat: i hate when people say “tanks” instead of “thanks” like youre only...

Fri, 24 May 2013 07:08:13 -0400

rneerkat:

allmonds:

rneerkat:

i hate when people say “tanks” instead of “thanks” like youre only expressing gratitude to me with 5/6 effort thats rude

Hahahaha i get it bc 6 letters in thanks but 5 in tanks i feel you

im betting u passed algebra with those math skills

mew-squared: In 2009, a man married a video game character In 2007, a woman married the Eiffel...

Fri, 24 May 2013 06:29:24 -0400

mew-squared:

In 2009, a man married a video game character

In 2007, a woman married the Eiffel Tower

In 2008, a man married a life-sized doll

Also in 2009, a woman married a roller coaster

And in 2005, a woman married a dolphin

please explain to me why people still say that gays shouldnt be able to be married to preserve the sanctity of marraige

Don’t make me talk about my relationship because I will gush about how perfect he is non stop...

Fri, 24 May 2013 06:27:44 -0400

Don’t make me talk about my relationship because I will gush about how perfect he is non stop then get sad about distance and it’ll be all your fault and then I’ll be really down and spend lots of money on visiting him because I’m sad and he can fix it just don’t talk to me about things unless they are things

Photo

Fri, 24 May 2013 06:22:55 -0400

chillin-and-illin: moirallegianceismagic: ive been waiting my...

Fri, 24 May 2013 06:22:46 -0400

chillin-and-illin:

moirallegianceismagic:

ive been waiting my whole life for this gifset

My spirit animal.

Photo

Fri, 24 May 2013 06:20:02 -0400

psilentasincjelli: If I ever tell you I’m going to sleep and then you see me posting or liking...

Fri, 24 May 2013 06:19:24 -0400

psilentasincjelli:

If I ever tell you I’m going to sleep and then you see me posting or liking things online for about an hour immediately after that, I promise I wasn’t lying to you, I’m just bad at going to sleep and it is usually a long process that begins with disengaging from any sort of immediate contact with people (chats, for example) and ends when everything on my screen is blurry and I’m hallucinating plot points I haven’t written yet

nuditea: “when one door closes, another one opens” imagine how annoying it would be if that were...

Fri, 24 May 2013 06:18:44 -0400

nuditea:

“when one door closes, another one opens”

imagine how annoying it would be if that were true

you close the bathroom door to pee and your front door suddenly blows open

your cat escapes

you run out and jump into the car to chase the cat and hear everything falling out of your over-stuffed pantry as its door unlatches

Photo

Fri, 24 May 2013 05:38:17 -0400